...in retrospection

At this point I was going to thank my readers for sticking with me to the end of the trip.
Having finally figured out how to view the stats for the blog, I was amazed at how many people had wasted valuable seconds of their lives reading my drivel.
I'm proud to say that I've notched up more than 3,000 hits from countries as far-flung as Germany, Malaysia, the Ukraine, Singapore and Hong Kong. Those figures aren't going to worry the BBC News website, or leave the UK's national newspapers worrying about their online ad revenue, but I was humbled nonetheless.
I notice I even picked up one or two Russia-based readers once I started mentioning communism.
Привет comrades!
However, only once I cast my eye over the top-hitting blogs did I discover my readers' true intentions... namely to revel in my coming a-cropper.
The three top-ranking pieces involved my getting too close for comfort with a massive cockroach, being involved in a bus crash and finding "fame and misfortune" in Vietnam.
Well, thanks a million folks. I love you, too.

Of course, a fair few people will have stumbled across my ramblings by chance - perhaps looking for things to do in Bolivia, or a good hostel in Chile.
I studied the various ways people arrived at the site.
And I can only assume the people who landed via search engines, having used the terms "Scunthorpe red light district" and "Titicaca sex tube", were disappointed.
(Incidentally, would it betray a shocking naivety were I to admit I have not the faintest idea what a "sex tube" is? Sounds painful to me.)
Most people, of course, arrived at the site via Facebook. But I'm honoured to know that - at some point, at least - there was a link to the blog from iteethwhiteningguide.com. However, I'd like to point out that at no stage has the hapless backpacker suggested reading his missives could improve anyone's dental health or complexion.

Sorry it took so long to rattle out these final entries but important things got in the way - like work and shaving off a ridiculous beard.
Yes, the beard has gone - followed swiftly by most of my hair when I realised that without the balance of facial hair my barnet made me look like an extra from a Bon Jovi video.
Anyway, I hope I have entertained you a little, informed you a smidgen and perhaps even educated you an iota.
As for the countries and people mentioned, I hope I've done them justice. I endeavoured not to insult or belittle, though that can be tricky when you're tired after weeks on the road.
Even those who downright annoyed us added a little something to the experience - and doubtless gave us a tale or two that will outlast the memories of many wonderful places.
However, they were greatly outnumbered by the friends we made along the way who helped make the experience so special... Respect, dudes. You know who you are.
So, that's it. Thanks, readers, for travelling with me.
But it be wrong to wrap things up without some pointless lists and figures:

Favourite three countries:
Bolivia
Cambodia
Cuba

Most breathtaking sights:
Perito Moreno Glacier, Argentina
Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia
View from a Laos service station

Best street food:
Pho noodle soup, Vietnam
Just about anything, Bangkok
"Potato egg", Bolivia

Favourite beer:
If I could remember that, it wouldn't have been a good trip.

Best long-distance buses:
Chile
Thailand
Colombia

Things I ate that still make me queasy thinking about them:
Fertilized duck egg, Cambodia
Guinea pig, Peru
Something green and wobbly - possibly lung, Peru/Colombia

Our trip in numbers:

Days away from home: 187
Countries: 17 (+3 in transit)
Bus trips: 75
Guidebooks: 6
Flights: 13
Marital rows: See number of bus trips
Reunions with old friends: 4
Beds (each): 77
Late-night toilet rescues: 2
Languages used to say "thank you": 6
Trips to doctor: 1
Border crossings by land: 13
By boat: 1
By air: 9
Bird species spotted: 123
Open-air emergency dumps: 3 (between us)
Swedes called Anders befriended: 3
Threats of divorce: 1

¡Adios!